Rajya Bardhan’s ‘Meta-Ghost’ Adventure

Rajya Bardhan and Patta Bardhan are sitting in a posh Park Street coffee shop. Rajya Bardhan is no longer just a timber merchant from Assam; he has declared himself a 'Global Digital Strategist.' He is wearing a silk shirt printed with QR codes. Patta Bardhan is sitting next to him, staring at an iPad.

Rajya Bardhan took a big sip of coffee and said, "Listen Pata, people say the world is 'Maya' (an illusion), but that is wrong. The world is now 'Meta'."

Patta Bardhan looked at him with an open mouth and said, "Meta? You mean 'Mete' like goat liver, Dada? If we eat liver with coffee, won't we get a stomach ache?"

Rajya Bardhan got annoyed and said, "Arre no, you fool! Meta means Metaverse. It means you sit here, but your soul travels inside the internet. You will become an 'Avatar'."

Patta Bardhan got scared. "Avatar? You mean I will grow ten hands? Then buying shirts will be very expensive, Dada!"

Rajya Bardhan hit his own forehead. "Nothing will happen with your wooden head. Listen, we will start a startup now. I named it 'Viral Vaccine.' Nowadays, people don't suffer from viral fever; they suffer from the fever of 'becoming' viral. We will teach them how to become famous overnight without doing any work."

Just then, a young woman entered. She had a selfie stick with a phone attached. She stood in the middle of the cafe and suddenly started dancing, shouting "Momo Momo."

Rajya Bardhan’s eyes went wide. "See? This is called 'Content.' That girl didn't come to drink coffee; she came to steal 'Memories'."

Patta Bardhan whispered, "Should I call the police, Dada? Since we caught the thief!"

Rajya Bardhan said, "Shut up! She is an 'Influencer.' Come, we will also make a 'Reel' today. You slap me, and I will say—Ah! What peace!"

Patta Bardhan was shocked. "I should slap you? Why, Dada?"

Rajya Bardhan said wisely, "This is called 'Anti-Logic.' People will think, why is he hitting his big brother? Everyone will abuse us in the comments, and as the insults increase, my 'Engagement' will increase. In the digital world, abuse is actually applause!"

The brothers went out to the street. An electric taxi was waiting. Rajya Bardhan shouted, "O Charioteer, take us towards Eco Park. There are many backgrounds there."

The driver said, "Dada, this is an EV, it makes no sound."

Rajya Bardhan said, "Moving silently is the new fashion. Let’s go!"

Inside the taxi, Rajya Bardhan explained the magic of 'Algorithms' to Patta Bardhan. Rajya Bardhan said, "Look Pata, an algorithm is like 'Alur Dom' (potato curry). If the spices are not right, it doesn't work. Our spice is Kinjal Babu."

Patta Bardhan asked, "Who is Kinjal Babu?"

Rajya Bardhan took out a visiting card. It said— 'Kinjal Chakraborty: Digital Pimp and Promoter.'

At Kinjal’s office, the brothers saw four boys sitting with four laptops. Kinjal said, "Welcome, Rajya Bardhan Babu. You have a timber business in Assam. But the days of wood and iron are gone. Now it’s the age of data. Do you want people to recognize you?"

Rajya Bardhan said, "Why not? I want people to go crazy seeing my style in a dhoti. I want to be a 'Fashion Influencer'."

Kinjal looked at Rajya Bardhan’s belly and said, "It will happen. But we need a twist. You will be 'Yoga with Dhoti.' You will hang upside down wearing a dhoti, and we will shoot it with a drone. The caption will be— 'Balancing the Economy'."

Patta Bardhan said, "Dada, you can't even stand straight, how will you hang upside down? The dhoti will fall off!"

Rajya Bardhan scolded him, "Arre, that is the USP! If the dhoti falls, we get more views. This is called 'Accidental Exposure'."

The shooting began at the Maidan. Rajya Bardhan tried to hang from a tree branch. Patta Bardhan was pushing him from below. Kinjal was shouting, "Give more expressions! Imagine you are seeing the fall of Bitcoin!"

When Rajya Bardhan was halfway up, his dhoti got stuck in the branch. He stayed hanging there upside down. Just then, a group of tourists was passing by. They thought it was a 'Modern Art' performance. Everyone took out their mobiles and started recording.

Rajya Bardhan was shouting, "Pata, get me down! The blood is rushing to my head!"

Patta Bardhan was dancing below. Kinjal had taught him— "When Dada hangs, you stand below and do the Bhangra dance. People will think it’s a celebration."

The next morning, it wasn't in the newspapers, but it was trending on Facebook— 'The Strange Hanging Man of Assam and his Dancing Brother.' Views crossed ten million. Rajya Bardhan’s phone was full of messages. Someone wanted him as a brand ambassador for shoes, someone wanted him on a reality show.

Rajya Bardhan said proudly, "See, Pata? This is called Digital Success."

Patta Bardhan said sadly, "But Dada, my waist is hurting from all that dancing. And your neck is twisted."

Rajya Bardhan laughed, "Arre, the body can twist, but the 'Brand Value' should not twist. Kinjal Babu said we now need a 'Controversy.' Come, we will now claim that the Taj Mahal was actually built by my grandfather with wood, but the masons made a mistake and put marble."

Patta Bardhan scratched his head. "But Dada, people won't believe that."

Rajya Bardhan laughed loudly, "We don't need belief, you fool! We just need people to 'Discuss.' Discuss means Success! People will abuse us, they will say— 'Liar Rajya Bardhan.' We will take screenshots of those insults and print T-shirts. They will say— 'Proud Liar'."

After some days, Rajya Bardhan was seen giving a speech at a big conference. Big businessmen are sitting in front of him. Rajya Bardhan is saying into the mic, "Friends, what is the use of truth? Truth is only one, but lies are infinite. You farm the lies, and data will grow automatically. Remember, Like is Life, and Share is Salvation!"

Patta Bardhan is sitting in the back row, thinking, should he send his brother to a real mental hospital? But then he realized, the mental hospital is already in his hand—it’s called Social Media. Everyone is doing madness there, and his Dada is the Captain of that madness.

Rajya Bardhan came down from the stage and told Patta Bardhan, "Listen Pata, I got the idea for tomorrow’s Reel. We will go into the Metaverse and steal jewelry. The digital police won't be able to catch us!"

Patta Bardhan sighed and said, "Dada, you are not a human, you are a 'Glitch'."

Rajya Bardhan was happy. "Glitch? Wah! What a great name! From tomorrow, I am 'Glitchesh-bardhan'!"